was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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