i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
