Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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