just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
