Small penises have feelings too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
