Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
