were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
