I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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