that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
