I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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