Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
