There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
