I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
