Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
