This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was like eating out sand paper
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
