her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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