His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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