That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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