he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
