She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
