so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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