everyone is single if you try hard enough
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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