Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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