found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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