We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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