when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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