if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
