i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
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You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
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We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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