no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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