4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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