I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
