If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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