Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
