when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize