Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
