so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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