guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
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Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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