STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
