i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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