He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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