And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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