my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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