I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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