i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
