**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
