She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
