and next time when you feel me up, do it right
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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