I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
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Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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