just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
