I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
