too bad you live with your parents still
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize