one two three fourrrrnication!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
