I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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