Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize